It was past 2.00 am when a couple, probably the last one, came to a rest house at the east-bound bus station. That night the room charge was VND25,000 and the silvery moon, almost full, offered just enough light to make out the silhouette of a young girl clumsily getting money out of her wallet to pay while the man was so drunk he could barely stand on his legs, which looked like overcooked noodles.

They were then taken to their room by a little boy, the offspring of the peeping landlady. The girl sat down on the bed with little doubt about the white sheets, turned on the electric fan and said to the man: "Here’s soap, go and have a bath first."

This was the second time Le Manh Thai, a 29-year-old software engineer at the Industrial and Commercial Bank came to Saigon with his boss to buy state-of-the-art computers currently considered to be the most fashionable in the art of interior design. He had won praise for his previous purchase of Olivetti computers because the bright colours pleased the eyes of his management board. This time, he would make much more profit from his lucrative business, he thought to himself. How cunning they were! He and his boss were offered a good treat afterwards at a fun bar by the seller who paid more than VND5 million for everything, including the monkey business between his boss and one of the bar girls. That night, between the two cases of Tiger and San Miguel canned beer, he met the young girl.

The cold shower made the man feel completely refreshed and sober. He was now smoking and thinking about the moment when they had to pay a cutthroat price for the last Hennessy bottle before leaving the bar. As the bathroom had no door, he could easily see her bathing naked by just moving a bit sideways from where he was sitting.

"I felt a bit scared. I never thought you were still a virgin. Why did you pick me to drink beer for fun. That was the first time I did such a thing. I wouldn’t brave the stigma to follow you to that rest house unless I’d been so drunk. I love you, baby. Saigon is depraved, full of odds and sods, but in the middle of that dirty society you are the most innocent survivor. I’m happy to love you, baby."

At about 4.00am she woke up and turned over in bed, finding the man was also awake and smoking. She put on her blouse and went to the bathroom.

"I often feel pain in the stomach after drinking Tiger beer."
The man continued smoking.
"How strange you do."
The girl kept silent.
"I’ll miss you a lot."
"You’ll forget me soon."
"You drink like a fish."
"Didn’t you know that I poured most of the beer from the last few cans into the ice bucket."
"How long have you been working there?"
"Two months."

The girl went to the bathroom again. The shower nozzle was blocked and she had to splash water over her body. After that, she crept quickly into bed to embrace him, her skin still wet against his body under the blanket.

"Turn off the light."
"You’re experienced."
"I’m used to embracing, but not to having sex in that way."
"I love you."
"The southerners say thuong but the northerners say yeu for love, is it true?"

The man only smiled, the first smile that had ever appeared on his lips that night.

"Do many northerners come to your place?"
"A lot like you, all spendthrifts."

At this time of night the suburb was still dark, windy and rather quiet. Suddenly, the girl burst into tears for no reason and continued sobbing for almost an hour.

"The Tet celebrations are now over but my office remains almost deserted. In Hanoi, it is drizzling and when I remember the sunshine in Saigon, I miss you more than ever. Once again, I am writing to you in one-way communication. I want to have one of your latest photographs and also intend to give you my address. But what’s the point of giving you a forlorn hope? That’s what you told me while we were ordering a Lau Mam hotpot. Then all would be superficial and deceitful, but one thing I am sure of is that I love you."

The bar girl was smoking while reading his love letter marked No.5-a habit she had developed after becoming a woman. She often pressed the letter against her chest and seven months later she had to undergo surgery at Cho Ray Hospital. The operation was conducted by four first-rate surgeons over two hours and it cost a pretty penny. She had the surgery done because she could no longer endure the pain in her chest, where her breasts had been squeezed many times by her customers.

"Why don’t you drink any more?"
"Just looking at you."
"Something funny?"
"I haven’t loved anyone before."

Thai held his wife so tight in his arms that she uttered a painful sound. He then spat softly on the floor after finding himself crestfallen by an offensive kiss still stinking of her saliva and French makeup. To hell with the spouse and offspring.

"Let me take you to the airport."
"No."
"Are you afraid of being seen?"
"No."
"Why so sad?"
"I love you."
"Like last night, do you?"

Thai laughed and looked at his watch. They had been close together for a whole week. He had to borrow money from his boss three times. He drank beer at noon, returned to rest in the hotel in the afternoon, then drank again and often stayed overnight in the rest house. He and the girl were equally hot.

-How much is the exchange rate today?
-One ten sixty two.
-Turn down the volume, please!
-Did you go to see your father at noon?
-We’ll be there tonight anyway.

Thai’s father-in-law was a senior official in the banking sector. Rumor had it that Thai had married money because his wife looked ugly and was even older than him but her family was wealthy. In return, to her credit, she finally married a handsome, intelligent young man. A Frenchman once said:" Marriage is not like trade. In trade, only one person is cheated. In marriage, both are fooled."

During the honeymoon Thai drank a lot and simply did his duty as a rule. His wife seemed to know everything as she had studied for four years at university. Thuong tri thien, ha tuong dia. Neither gain nothing nor know nothing. Thai’s father-in-law was managing a provincial bank at the time.

-You’ve bought too many lottery tickets.
-Just for fun.
-Wine, gambling and another thing, woman, will make you perfect.

What virtue turned out to be on the wedding night, Thai remembered, was just being naked. The first time he kissed his wife was only three days ago. He felt her trembling a bit then, with a sort of processed virginity. His mother-in-law reluctantly put on her velvet shoes as if she were going to throw them away. No wonder, as she was so used to walking barefoot in the countryside since childhood. Thai was asked to mobilize all the cars from his workplace to serve the wedding. On the way to the bride’s home, as the cars drove past Trang Thi intersection, two traffic policemen who were chit-chatting in the shade suddenly stood erect to greet the motorcade. The next morning, the news about a foreign delegation arriving in the city was covered in the press.

"Today is your birthday and last night I dreamed of you. In the dream I was quite drunk. There were only two of us but we drank up a whole case of San Miguel canned beer. Then you cried. Oh, on your happy day, I should not be telling you sad stories. I wish you good health and all the best. I kiss you."

While reading his love letters the girl stopped sometimes to look at the rain outside. Letter No.10, then letter No.14. A middle-aged foreigner sat opposite her, reading the Far Eastern Economic Review. Between the sixth and the fourteenth letters she had gone to bed with twenty-nine men, all in the hotel, where the lowest room rate was US$40. The rest house at the east-bound bus station charged her only VND25,000. It was still raining. How strange that it kept raining all night in Saigon!

"I hope I’ll see you again in May. Rain often comes all of a sudden in Saigon. I’m not sure about you but I miss you terribly, every minute. A predestined melancholy. Your name often makes me choke while I am eating and drinking. My family has urged me to get married. Well, come and see me in the north."

-What are you writing so late?
-I’m making a balance sheet for the office.
-Don’t give me that bullshit.

As Thai was pushing his half-written letter into his file he didn’t notice a paperweight also moving along to send his glass of beer falling over the side of the table and crashing to the floor with a deafening sound. His wife, dressed in petticoats, jumped up from the bed with a scornful smile on her lips. Thai lit a cigarette and wondered how joyful it would be to hit her face with anything hard.

-You fucking son of a bitch!

Like her father, she often cursed when she was hot-tempered.

-I happened to read one of your balance sheets once.

She then read out by heart the whole content of his letter No.11 while Thai continued smoking and flicking cigarette ash over his feet that hurt badly.

-How shameful. That’s a bar girl.

Thai also wanted to scream out at her. My deepest shame is having married you, he thought. With that face you should work as a bar girl. What a bold face that would be the most effective weapon to fight social evils and make all bar owners bite the dust.

-I’ll speak to father tomorrow.

A sudden shiver ran across his forehead.

-You are going mad. Be calm.
-I will speak to father anyway. He let you go to Saigon and you’ve been spoiled. What will happen when you are abroad?

Thai came closer to his wife.

-Be calm and have some cold water,
-No.
-Please.

Thai was almost crying.

-I’m really sorry.

A shiver of shock was now running the length of his shoulders and his bitter tears kept streaming down his face, staining the white-flowered tiled floor under his feet. He then kissed his wife, hoping that she would forgive him. Yes, she would forgive him.

"I’ve got to go away, very far away, and stay there for a long time. It may give me a sense of pride to say that I’ve assumed a long-term mission in a foreign country. In Europe of course, but I don’t know exactly where. I really don’t want to go. Every time I think of our affairs I feel sad. Our memories will linger on forever but never become a reality again."

In celebration of her twenty-first birthday the bar girl drank up 21 cans of beer on her own and read through 21 love letters, all without any forwarding address. Lovers are often absent-minded, she thought.

Translated by Nguyen Duc Phu